Silks and Satins for at least one third of your life

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Pale violet nightdress from Browns.

A heavenly combination of slinky nightwear, mid-Seventies tech and a very welcoming looking bed arrangement. Oh, and Marie Helvin of course. This is very much how I would like to spend the next few weeks, months… in fact, a third of my life!

Italian ‘Cifra’ bed by Vittorio Rossi & Luciano Bertoncini from Heal’s.

Photographed by David Bailey.

Scanned by Miss Peelpants from Vogue, July 1974.

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White satin de lys pujamas by Liliane Dreyfus for Vog.

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Pale beige crepe nightdress by Stan Herman for Charnos.

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White nightdress by John Kloss for Cira.

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Well, there has to be a first time, doesn’t there?

Well, there has to be a first time, doesn't thereHe’s twenty-five. He’s wearing boots. He has this smile that makes you think of your pony back home in Sussex. He asks you out. You’ve been in London three weeks. You’ve been to the movies alone five times. You’ve eaten thirteen tins of baked beans. You think he looks dangerous. You accept. He takes you for a meal—one they used to put on expense accounts and now write off to personal sex accounts.

He’s wearing a snakeskin suit. It has the insidious imprint of the King’s Road Own Seduction Corps. King’s regulations are strictly for the birds and you’re barely hatched. You’ve made the first move backwards by wearing a very almost-not-there dress which Mummy said was common when you were home last weekend.

His car smells of polished leather and Brut and you were warned that Devon Violets is suspect, in spite of granny-chat. It’s a cover-up for you-know-what. You murmur among the traffic lights. You park among the foreign number plates. The CD’s scream their immunity from dangerous corners, double yellow lines and fire station forecourts.

The restaurant is sadly assembled. Small and dull, you share the regulation banquet with eight others. Tables have to be shuffled every time some-one wants to move.

You trail fringes in and out of your neighbour’s potage au pea and, again, later, through the empty plate, scooping and spinning the spoon.

You have a dry martini because they do in TV serials and in TV commercials with suave celebrities and because your father suggested it when his advice was sought. His reasons are probably the same.

You restrain a shudder as your larynx dehydrates and grab at the whitebait as it arrives like a marooned sailor would whistle for mermaids. Similarly. you wish the tiny heads were less wistful, the tiny tails less anguished. But you’re absorbed in the effort to show interest in your Mate’s Progress whilst trying to clean up the soupy and fringy bits without appearing to be scratching the bottom of the bowl.

You order something that looks like Coq au Rising, because it’s one of those witty places where the menu is badly chalked on an old slate with remarks like, `sorry drakes, the duck’s night off—try our Boeuf Havitoff instead’.

Everything is going to be disguised in tomato sauce with chopped peppers to hush it up and a few mushrooms, tired of waiting, to tone it down.

The creamed spinach has bits of the label off the tin concealed in it. After guiding it on a tour of your teeth, you swallow it rather than eject it from tongue to table. The sherry trifle is reminiscent of school lunches. Mucky, spongy left-over in a thin sauce. 

The coffee is aggressive. It scrapes the protesting throat. Nevertheless, sour and stewed, down it has to go, setting up a sacrificial reaction ‘from the wine, something red and spiteful, which could have been emulsion with thinners. The martini is already forgotten but not forgiven.

Your head blows off when it meets Fulham freshness.

The flat—his—is in a block where the central heating boasts with absurd exaggeration and there’s no air to need conditioning! It’s on the fourth floor. The lift is silent with warning.

You drop your coat on the hall chest, which itself has a mistletoe bough threat from its Peter Jones mock studdery. He leads you to maturity via a Conran sofa where, with all those occasional tables and two plastic poufs, romance would perish even between Heloise and Abelard. 

He says you’re very lovely, aren’t you? Enigmatically you smile at him as you unhook the fringe tethering his pocket zip to your prudent bust. He adds that you’ve an untouched quality. Enigma changes to wistful nostalgia for opportunities lost and then you feel a sudden, terrifying attack of wind. Losing your virginity is one thing, the risk of losing control of digestive outlets, is quite another.

Your muscles assume a rigidity in their counter-attack, which he assumes is modesty. He murmurs softly to relax, little girl, you can trust him. Trust him for what? A tablet to bring express relief? But the moment passes. Relief prompts honesty so you admit that you are, indeed, untouched.

He gently pulls at your shoulder strap. Here it comes. The pay-off. Your neckline was designed for display rather than subtlety and the slide of the shoulder strap suggests gar-rotting rather than seduction.

The wine, the warmth, the hum of collective combustion below, make soporific nonsense of energetic passion. Virginity is never its own reward, only someone else’s, but we must have something to tell Sue and all the others.

Zips slip. The silence is describable. Like heavy breathing or deep down from an eider. More compelling, much more inviting, more mysterious, more exciting than Mantovani’s melodious mood music.

Eyes close slowly. Langour is your mantra.

Moment of truth . . . a novice in the Yearling Stakes, you surge forward on the thrust of optimism. But the whitebait and the chicken stew and the trifle rise, too, in defence of your honour and purity.

Hold it! The sour coffee, the sauce, the one martini—yes, even and the almost dry martini, forgiven. Control is ruined and so is the Conran gingham. But not, dear, your virginity!

Text by Diana Cooper.

Illustration by Malcolm Bird

Scanned by Miss Peelpants from 19 Magazine, April 1972.


Summer Vamp

Summer Vamp - John Bishop - 19 August 70

19 visualises a Summer Vamp, and make-up is geared for a seductive summer. Shades of Dietrich abound – lips are invitingly red, eyes are lowered and stained with yellows, greens, plums and browns… Our model’s hair was dressed by Jason at Jingles. For a romantic effect we covered it with a black fishnet shawl by J.C.Brosseau from Feathers.

The stunning model is Willy van Rooy, who also happens to be the model that my mannequin is based on. For more background on this connection please click here. Willy is also a very talented designer, so do check out her website http://willyvanrooy.com/ or follow her on Instagram.

Photographed by John Bishop.

Scanned by Miss Peelpants from 19 Magazine, August 1970.


Floating Chiffon Clouds

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Alice Ormsby-Gore wearing Zandra Rhodes.

Make-up by Pablo Zappi-Manzoni at Elizabeth Arden.

Photographed by Clive Arrowsmith.

Scanned by Miss Peelpants from Beauty in Vogue, 1970.


I see the gypsy in your soul

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Illustration by Alan Aldridge.

Scanned by Miss Peelpants from Honey, July 1968.


Naked Esscents

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Scanned by Miss Peelpants from 19 Magazine, May 1974.


Match Makers

match makers - alan cracknell - petticoat 26th june 1971

From left to right: White satin bib shorts, with blue bow print, by Electric Fittings, £6., from Fifth Avenue, Wl., Mr Freedom, W8., and Edward Bates, Chatham. Blue stretch vest by Medusa, SW3., £1.40. Blue, red and pink striped scarf, £1., from a selection at Rosie Nice, SW3. Lady’s face badge by Gay Designs, 49p at Peter Robinson. Quant suede turn-down boots, £10.50. Floral cotton bib bloomer shorts by Jayne Swayne, £450 at Just Looking, SW3. Purple vest, Medusa SW3., £1.40. Multicoloured plastic pendant on leather, £2.75 at Miss Selfridge. Quant boots, £10.50. Printed denim bib shorts with scalloped edging by Big Scene, £5 at Marshall & Snellgrove, Wl., and Santa Fe, Croydon. Yellow sweater with striped sleeves, designed by Phyllis Collins at Stirling Cooper, Wl., £3.50. Also available from Che Guevara, W8. Yellow schoolboy cap, Mr Freedom, £3.15. Coloured hearts strand on leather, £2.25 from Miss Selfridge. Quant boots, £10.50. Blue denim bib shorts with pockets, £2.49 at all branches of Girl, Shades and In Scene shops. Red gingham smock shirt, £3.50 from Medusa, SW3. Cash Graphics strawberry brooch, 75p. Red and white check scarf, £1., from a selection at Rosie Nice, SW3. Blue velvet bib shorts with yellow detail stitching by Gordon King, £5.77 from 27, SW3 and also at Way In, Harrods, SW1. Blue and white spot smock with yellow ric-rac trim by Kadix, £4.95 at Stop The Shop, SW3. Rainbow brooch by Cash Graphics, 75p. Dark print floral cotton blouse with navy gaberdine shorts, by Anji, £6.95 from the Anji Boutiques at Peter Robinson’s Top Shops in the Strand and at Oxford Circus.

Skinny spencer vests or ready-to-buy matching shirts—here’s two ways round the problem of what to wear under hotweather bib shorts when you want to look cool and neat or pretty and summerfresh—with enough cash left over to enjoy wearing them as well …

Illustrated by Alan Cracknell.

Scanned by Miss Peelpants from Petticoat, 26th June 1971.